Friday, February 6, 2009

Blogging Tories' Spin: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

A good source of mine (who shall remain anonymous) has leaked to me this e-mail chain to me of Blogging Tories' discussions that I think provides some good insight into why they've all been so silent on about Harper completely folding on the $3.5 million Cadman lawsuit that was supposed to be air tight. See below for all the details…
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From: Stephen Taylor
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2009 8:25:34 PM
To: Darryl Wolk; Christian Conservative; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Ok fine I see some of you guys are being difficult so why don’t we all just agree to say nothing then? I’ve always been able to rely on you guys to do that in the past on Friday afternoon news dumps so thanks in advance! I trust the MSN won’t see this as news anyway. Thank goodness they aren’t as Liberal as we say they are!

Cheers,
Stephen

________________________________________
From: Darryl Wolk
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2009 6:45:23 PM
To: Christian Conservative; Stephen Taylor; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Stephen it’s time to stop the bs, it looks like we lost this thing and our party looks stupid now for starting the case in the first place. I think the best we can hope for is the media just ignores the story and that the Liberals keep quiet about it too and they don’t re-start committee hearings on this. I’m glad I haven’t blogged about this since May of 08 but I really wish I hadn’t bought into your spin at the case at the time. (http://darrylwolkpolitics.blogspot.com/search/label/Chuck%20Cadman).

-Darryl
________________________________________
From: Christian Conservative
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2009 6:25:18 PM
To: Stephen Taylor; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

OMG! Stephen I’ve swallowed A LOT from this party and have been a good soldier, even posting a lot of stuff I didn’t really buy that much, but this takes the cake! I”ll have no part of your HORRIBLE spin here!

Man do I feel dumb for listening to the party spin for so long on this and being so confident at the beginning (http://canadaconservative.blogspot.com/2008/03/harper-to-sue-liberals.html).
-CC
________________________________________
From: Stephen Taylor
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2009 5:38:08 PM
To: Christian Conservative; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Yeah I agree with Janke and Kate, we easily come out ahead here (and Kate I’m thinking of a Kinsella angle as we speak!), we can sell this as a win I know we can. I’m telling you the Liberals really thought they had us beat on this thing, they were hoping we’d actually have to give more testimony in court! And surely the media will see things our way.

Not to worry at all guys, I wouldn’t want to be a Liberal right now that’s for sure!
________________________________________
From: Angry in the Great White North
Sent: Friday, February 6, 2009 4:55:14 PM
To: Stephen Taylor; Christian Conservative; Darryl Wolk; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: RE: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Yeah please send some better talking points, I’m struggling to complete my post on this. I see how this is good you know we didn’t want the media or the Liberals digging deeper into the story, but I’d still like to get some better direction, so lil help pls!

-Janke
________________________________________
From: Small Dead Animals
Sent: Friday, February 6, 2009 4:47:14 PM
To: Stephen Taylor; Christian Conservative; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: RE: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Stephen you did tell us this was in the bag and I feel pretty stupid for all I wrote about this because of what you told us. But I’m willing to bite the bullet and go along with whatever message the party wants if you just send some better frigging talking points please! I’m sure we’ll beat the Liberals flimsy spin on this either way.

But is there any way we can turn this into a story about Kinsella? I’m sure we can all think of something here.

-SDA
________________________________________
From: Stephen Taylor
Sent: Fri, 6 Feb 2009 4:37:13 PM
To: Christian Conservative; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case
Subject: Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Ok guys I took Grumpy off, but why haven’t any of you posted on this yet? This is the best news we’ve had all week! We can’t let Liberal friendly CBC somehow put some sort of negative spin on this that works against us, we have to get in front of this thing!
________________________________________
From: Stephen Taylor
Sent: Fri, 6 Feb 2009 4:25:42 PM
To: Christian Conservative; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right; Grumpy Voter
Subject: RE: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Alright Grumpy you’re gone from this group. We don’t take kindly to dissent around here, why don’t you try go joining Liblogs again you obviously don’t fit in here. Now that the Green Shift is gone (where you stayed on message with us from start to finish) you've outlived your usefulness. Let’s stay focused here guys, this is a win for us. Period.
________________________________________
From: Grumpy Voter
Sent: Fri, 6 Feb 2009 3:46:05 PM
To: Stephen Taylor; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right
Subject: Re: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Stephen WTF! You say the LIBERALS dropped THEIR case against us? Are you on glue? We launched the case against them and YOU told us it would bankrupt the Liberal Party and be one of the smartest political moves the Conservatives ever made! You assured us that the case was air tight and that we could confidently predict victory! You said they'd be on their knees in the end just begging for US to let THEM go with by just giving US a retraction and apology! We didn't even get a frigging apology from them!

Even when Harper lost his lawyer YOU assured us all it was just because he was looking for a better one and that we “shouldn’t believe the media spin” that it was bad news for our case.

Unbelievable!

-Grumpy
________________________________________

From: Stephen Taylor
Sent: Fri, 6 Feb 2009 3:21:54 PM
To: Christian Conservative; Darryl Wolk; Angry in the Great White North; Blue Like You; Crux of the Matter; ChuckerCanuck; Small Dead Animals; Gay and Right; Grumpy Voter
Subject: Conservatives Score Monumental Win in Cadman Case

Hi guys,

I have awesome news for you all! The Liberals have agreed to drop the Cadman case and they didn’t even ask us to make an apology! This is complete and total surrender on their part!

The media are going to be ALL OVER the Liberals on this one for their frivolous lawsuit against us!

I expect to see you all posting about our great victory starting now so we can shape the news appropriately.

Cheers,
Stephen

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UPDATE: For those who aren't sure what to think of this post, I would invite you to read the labels/tags that were present the minute it was posted as well as the first comment to this post that I posted within minutes of when this went up. If you click some of the tags you might see this isn't the first time I've done a post of like this either, just this one got a lot more attention, but I'm glad most people enjoyed it!


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23 comments:

Danielle Takacs said...

Before anyone who is the subject of this post gets TOO carried away, please read the labels of this post.

James Bowie said...

OMG, I am honestly going to bake you a cake for being the greatest blogger ever.

burlivespipe said...

Freakin' hilarious! If I didn't have a great satire detector, i'd have sworn those CON-trollers wrote it. But the silence truly is awesome, ain't it?
I just hope the 'piper' brings in a heavy collection agency before Harper cuts and runs for good!

Steve V said...

Well done Danielle, well done indeed :)

deBeauxOs said...

Brilliant. You captured the Stephen Taylor total sycophant voice perfectly.

A BCer in Toronto said...

You had me going a bit until that bit about SDA "pretty stupid for all I wrote". That lacked a certain realism... :)

Very nicely done.

jj said...

Splendid! My hat's off to you, that was really well done.

Tiny Perfect Blog said...

OK, you got me. I was pretty excited there for awhile.

Great satire.

Fresh Meat said...

You're pretty much amazing.
I will help Bowie bake that cake. =)

knb said...

Brilliant Danielle!

Sandy said...

There is nothing brilliant about this. It is totally made up. I am asking you to read my response and do something about it immediately. I received no e-mail whatsoever from anyone on that list today. Which means what you are writing is close to defamation.

knb said...

Did you see this?

Hilarious.

CC said...

Official Stephen Harper fluffer Sandy Crux clutches at her pearls and whines piteously:

"There is nothing brilliant about this. It is totally made up."

That would be the queen of political fiction, complaining about someone else taking liberties with reality.

Irony is officially dead.

Scott Tribe said...

Sandy, you need to find a sense of humour.

Red Tory said...

And a clue!

Cameron Campbell said...

I posit that she could find neither with a road map, a compass and a flashlight.

Gayle said...

Poor Sandy.

At least she has the ability to come here and "defend" herself. If this were her blog she would just delete and ban anyone who disagrees with her.

Zorpheous said...

Oh God, you had me there for a while, the fishhook was firmly implanted in my month and I was biting hard, even after I read;

"UPDATE: For those who aren't sure what to think of this post, I would invite you to read the labels/tags that were present the minute it was posted as well as the first comment to this post that I posted within minutes of when this went up. If you click some of the tags you might see this isn't the first time I've done a post of like this either, just this one got a lot more attention, but I'm glad most people enjoyed it! "

Half way through the comment I went and read the tags, LOL. The best humor is the one that tells a lie that reads like the truth,... You could have put the whipcream and cherry on top by having Mr. Harper sending the group an email and Scolding Stephen Taylor for not keeping people in line and that if he could run things according to the PMO outlines they would replace him with Mike Duffy or Ezra

Excellent Satire, still this begs the question, have any of the blogging toies written to defend Harper's defeat in this matter?

Zorpheous said...

Just for the record Daniella, I hate you,... This article was excellent and I wish I had thought of it first.

You had me hook line and sinker there for a while.

Sandy Crux's statement here further demonstrates that understanding of satire is beyond the grasp of many people.

Excellent Job

dnaworks said...

Umm, I think that I broke Sandy - she just closed the article to comments; sorry everyone who wanted to snark on 'er.

Here it is in her own words -

Donald — I used to teach satire so I don’t need any help from you. As far as I am concerned, this discussion in finished. I don’t intend to spend one more minute on it. Comments are now off.

Darryl said...

I like the writing style Danielle. Thanks for including me! Full marks for being creative.

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