Saturday, April 25, 2009

Tonight on E-Talk: Ben Mulroney Previews His Upcoming Career as a Liberal MP!

So I hear a crazy rumour that Ben Mulroney may soon run for federal office, and under the Liberals no less! So crazy, this rumour may actually be true. I mean, it's no secret that there are divisions within the Conservative Party, between Harper loyalists and Mulroney loyalists. So getting Ben to run for the Liberals would be like a shot of tequila for the Liberals - the end result is a nice buzz, but the burn goes down hard, but it will signal a bigger burn to the Tories!

I had a vision last night of what we might hear from Ben in the House of Commons in Question Period, if he does run and win, based on his career experiences.

Here's just a good number, but feel free to add your own. Some may seen a bit repetitive or lame, but don't blame me because aren't all E-Talk interviews just regurgitated soft-ball questions? So if people thought this was a silly question...read below for what we may look forward to from a potential party star...

1. Mr. Speaker, Canadians want to know, which Canadian designer is the Prime Minister going to wear down our red carpet, on this year's final session of the House of Common's "Question Period"?

2. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us what his favourite thing is about being Prime Minister?

3. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us what it's like to work in
Canada compared to say, elsewhere?

4. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us how much he loves working in Canada?

5. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us what his favourite Canadian vacation spot is?

6. Mr. Speaker, I'd like to know what Prime Minister Harper did to
prepare for his role as "Sweater-vested friend" in the film, 2008 Federal Election.

7. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us what his favourite hot-spot is in Canada?

8. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us how he finds the Canadian fans - I mean voters - are responding to his latest movie - I mean budget?

9. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us when he will appoint William Shatner to the Senate so I can interview him for a Thursday night Special and host a documentary on his epic struggle from actor, senator and to Governor General hopeful.

10. Mr. Speaker, recently, Canada's favourite celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, asked Miss California, the lovely Carrie Prejean, if every US state should legalize same sex marriage and why. Mr. Speaker, I'd like to ask the Prime Minister the same question about what he thinks our neighbous in the south should do so I can go back on E-Talk to give my outraged response to his answer!

11. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us what is favourite CBC films are, and how he feels they differ from CTV ones?

12. Mr. Speaker, will the Prime Minister tell us what it's like to be a celebrity, er, I mean politician - a Canadian politician - on the world stage?

13. Mr. Speaker, can the Prime Minister tell us what his plans are for CTV? Canadians need to know if I'll be able to make a triumphant comeback.

14. Mr. Speaker, I'd like to request that Question Period end early today, so I can go get a facial and manicure, and most likely touch up my roots. (ruled out of order)

15. Mr. Speaker, I'd like ask to the Prime Minister, what it was like get up in front of million of fans and viewers - I mean party supporters and voters - and give his acceptance speech for his role as "Minority Prime Minister: Part Two", and if he is planning a another sequel in the same role? Or will he be dropping out of the role because he knows his third time at it would be a bomb with the public?

And surely he'll get his own time on Don Newman's politics....
Don Newman: And tonight, my guest is the newly elected Liberal MP, Ben Mulroney. Welcome B-- *Ben shoves Don out of the camera shot*
Ben: Thanks Don! That's right, I'm Ben Mulroney - and tonight - on Politics, I'll discuss how I went from law student turned celebrity interviewer, who asks celebrities nonsense questions about Canada, to Liberal MP, all the while, keeping my dashing smile and characteristic, Mulroney hair. But first! Let's go to the studio to get an update of today's top stories, and after the break, we'll be back here with me, Ben Mulroney, where I'll conduct an exclusive interview with our very own, Don Newman, asking him the questions about what we all really want to know: the gossip which goes on behind the political scenes here, on The Hills, I mean, the Hill. *smiles*

Needless to say, it seems our party will have a lot to be proud of, and a lot of preparation work ahead of itself if we do get the pleasure of working with Mulroney Jr., and I'm sure PM Harper can't wait for his questions from him either.

Sure I've typecasted the Mulroney Jr., but I've never heard him say anything about politics before so what else do I have to go on? But who knows maybe he'll surprise and be the next Barack Obama!

Or!!! He could even become the next Liberal leader - up against Justin Trudeau in the leadership race, and it could be Trudeau vs. Mulroney on a whole new, exciting level with the youth wing divided over camps!

And I do suppose it's better that he become a Liberal MP than an NDP one..like a son of a former Mulroney cabinet minister, Robert Layton, did.

WARNING:
Note to Sandy and others who don't like reading post labels (or have no sense of humour), lest I be accused once more of "spreading false information", the questions above are not real questions - duh!


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