Tuesday, June 3, 2008

How to Make Enemies and Irritate People

Leaked from the PMO comes a new guidebook for everyone who always wanted to have more enemies and get on people’s nerves but wasn’t sure of the best way to do it. Now experts Stephen Harper, John Baird and Jim Flaherty will show you how! From wars with the press, discouraging investment in pesky provinces, picking fights on the world stage, to every witty insult you could ever fling your opponents way, this book has it all! Even includes more up to date advice on how when you have no plans to accomplish anything worthwhile of your own in life you can slam anyone who does! If you love knocking people down or your lifelong goal is to have as many enemies as possible then this guidebook is for you!

Already those who have gotten an advance copy have been raving…..

“Best read in years. Chapter 2 on linking on your opponents to terrorists brought a tear to my eye”
- Dick Cheney, United States Vice-President

“Really Stephen learned all this from me”
- Brian Mulroney, Former Prime Minister

“I am so so proud of how these guys have conducted themselves in Ottawa. I have to say I don’t feel sad about leaving public office as long as these guys are carrying on my legacy”
- Mike Harris, Former Ontario Premier

“Wars with the press and the Premiers, meddling in U.S. elections, muzzling a weak caucus, and daily character assassination in the House of Commons, reading this reminds me why it has been so hard to leave these great guys behind. Truly class acts.”
- Ian Brodie, outgoing Chief of Staff to Stephen Harper

“This guidebook is gold. Once again we see how Harper is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. The way I see it the more enemies Harper makes the closer he is to a majority!”
- Stephen Taylor, Conservative blogger

“I was thrilled to see the brilliance of my ‘small man of Confederation’ comment finally explained to me”
- Peter Van Loan, Conservative Party of Canada House Leader and Minister of Democratic Renewal

“My Question Period playbook finally laid out to all! Now the masses will finally understand!”
- Pierre Poilievre, Conservative Party of Canada MP

“It’s a shame the Liberals made the Conservatives do all these terrible things. Stephane Dion should be apologizing to Canadians for making the Conservatives act this way.”
- Jack Layton, NDP leader

“This will serve as an invaluable resource in my quest to be the leader of the free world. I thought Bush had great ideas for my campaign, but wow these guys can’t be topped!”
- John McCain, United States Republican Party Presidential Nominee

“I look forward to working for these guys in Ottawa – if you thought they were mean before, just wait for part 2!”
- Guy Giorno, incoming Chief of Staff to Stephen Harper and former Chief of Staff to Mike Harris

It's destined to be a best seller!

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